18:52:16 - 2000-09-25
projects
Projects for unemployed performance art terrorists:
Stand in disheveled clothes on the sidewalk and panhandle spare change from passers by. When someone is kind enough to hand you a few coins, throw them immediately and emphatically down a storm drain. If your benefactor begins to protest, accuse them of being an 'injun giver.
Set up easel and sketchpad near street fair, church carnival, or other local festivity. Pin amusing caricatures on easel to advertise your services as caricature artist. When your subjects sit for you, draw cartoony portraits exaggerating features such as acne scars, cold sores, crooked teeth, facial hair on women, etc. Add cartoony context to emphasize character; i.e. if your subject is a heavyset female, go ahead and portray her laying on her side, nursing a litter of funny piglets. If your subject has a predilection towards black lipstick and 'gothic' fashions, feel free to get out the red pen and go crazy with the razor blades and big spurts of cartoony blood from the wrists. Chuckle contagiously the whole time you're sketching. Show sketch to disappointed subject. Collect $12.
Convince others to play in "rock band". Rehearse band relentlessly for "big show" in Orange County. Convince girlfriend to drive down on afternoon of "big show". Play set as rehearsed in surreal empty roadhouse for girlfriend and bartender. Drive home.
