16:40:22 - 2001-02-24
ashes
We buried my grandmother out at the ranch Thursday...it was cold and drizzling. The three surviving adult males of our little matriarchy (the captain of industry, the published scholar, and um, me), we took our turns addressing the assembled friends and relatives; trying to read our little tributes and each breaking down in a decidedly un-Texan fashion. Since my grandmother didn't want anybody sermonizing over her remains, it was a non-religious thing; but having to speak gave me a new appreciation of funerary tradition. In that context, myth would have served as a welcome distraction from the reality of our loss. It would have been so much easier to let a preacher spout parables and walk us through some ritual than try to speak honestly about my Grandmother and how much we will miss her. That was really, really, hard. Then we put her ashes in the ground and I picked up a load of sand with the tractor and we buried her.
On a more positive note, women in Texas apparently deal with the grief thing by cooking and baking. There were like, eleven cakes and pies and beans and brisket and fried chicken, and that was good.
Also, if another old white lady tells me how good it is to see me except how did I get so skinny and aren't I eating out there in California, I'm socking her in the puss. I don't care if she is great aunt so-and-so. I'm fucking skinny, I've always been skinny. Deal with it lady.
